Which was what it was. Quite simply he loved two women, neither of whom were endangered by the other. Carver would never leave Jane. Nor did he want – nor intend – ever to leave Alice. If their relationship ended it would be Alice’s decision – which she insisted she’d never make – and if she did he knew he would consider it an unsought and very much unwanted divorce. The word – divorce – lodged in his mind, refocusing it. Carver was sure Jane loved him as much as she was able: as she ever would. Maybe, even, that there would be love – bruised, wounded, but still some love – if Jane ever learned about him and Alice. But he was equally sure – surer even – she wouldn’t be able to love him, stay married to him, if he were responsible for publicly ruining and humiliating a father she adored. At once the conviction that Jane would reject him overwhelmed his fear of what effect any disclosure would have upon the firm and even more upon him, personally.

‘It must be important, for you to be like this?’

‘I’m sorry,’ he repeated, not knowing what else to say.

‘You want to tell me about it?’

‘I’ve gotten things out of proportion,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘That’s what I meant about making choices, which wasn’t it at all. I’m trying to balance things.’ He never compared Jane with Alice or Alice with Jane, because they were incomparable, but physically they were remarkably similar, except for the most obvious difference of Jane being naturally deep brunette against Alice’s blondness, again natural. There was nothing to choose – a wrong word because he would never choose – between them in height nor in their small-busted slimness.