I am ninety. Or ninety-three. One or the other.

EITHER THERE’S BEEN an accident or there’s roadwork, because a gaggle of old ladies is glued to the window at the end of the hall like children or jailbirds. They’re spidery and frail, their hair as fine as mist. Most of them are a good decade younger than me, and this astounds me. Even as your body betrays you, your mind denies it.

I’m parked in the hallway with my walker. I’ve come a long way since my hip fracture, and thank the Lord for that. For a while it looked like I wouldn’t walk again—that’s how I got talked into coming here in the first place—but every couple of hours I get up and walk a few steps, and with every day I get a little bit farther before feeling the need to turn around. There may be life in the old dog yet.

There are five of them now, white-headed old things huddled together and pointing crooked fingers at the glass. I wait a while to see if they wander off. They don’t.

I glance down, check that my brakes are on, and rise carefully, steadying myself on the wheelchair’s arm while making the perilous transfer to the walker. Once I’m squared away, I clutch the gray rubber pads on the arms and shove it forward until my elbows are extended, which turns out to be exactly one floor tile. I drag my left foot forward, make sure it’s steady, and then pull the other up beside it. Shove, drag, wait, drag. Shove, drag, wait, drag.

The hallway is long and my feet don’t respond the way they used to. It’s not Camel’s kind of lameness, thank God, but it slows me down nonetheless. Poor old Camel—it’s been years since I thought of him. His feet flopped loosely at the end of his legs so he had to lift his knees high and throw them forward. My feet drag, as though they’re weighted, and because my back is stooped I end up looking down at my slippers framed by the walker.

It takes a while to get to the end of the hall, but I do—and on my own pins, too. I’m pleased as punch, although once there I realize I still have to find my way back.



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